What?! Are you Insane?

If People Could only STFU!

2011-11-15T11:24:00.001-05:00

I swear people just love to open their fucking mouths all the damn time and not know what the fuck they're talking about. Fucking A! People learn to speak when spoken to.

Way Too Stressed for Something So FUCKING STUPID!

2011-11-09T12:49:00.000-05:00

I fucking can't stand how stressed I get over work and the stupidest shit. A fucking piece of paper and misalignment becomes a huge frustration. I just can't fucking deal with stupidness right now.

Where there is a WILL there IS A WAY!

2011-10-27T12:57:00.000-04:00

Damn straight I'm gonna figure shit out one way or another. When I'm determined, I get shit done. No more whiny, dramatic trolls that ask for advice yet find a way to dismiss it EVERY SINGLE TIME! It's so sad to see how some can ruin it for all. But asi es la vida, so fuck it! I'm done.

Totally Disgusted Right Now!

2011-10-25T11:57:00.000-04:00

I can't believe that my fucking boss wants me to make a damn doctors appointment for him! I'm not his fucking wife! It's bad enough I have to pick out birthday and mothers day cards for the fucker, but now I'm doing shit that his wife should be doing. Next thing I know the mother fucker is going to ask me to shake his dick for him after he pees!

I Feel Like a Horrible Friend

2011-10-23T11:44:00.000-04:00

I feel like a shitty friend right now. I unintentionally hurt her feelings. I knew I might be doing it, but I wanted her to hear my news directly from me instead of some other way, which would have probably hurt her more. Now I have to figure out how to break my news to another friend and I know she too will be hurt by it. Life sucks sometimes...le sigh

Bad Mood

2011-09-23T12:36:00.000-04:00

Ughh I hate being in bad moods. It makes it very hard for me to deal with people when I get like this. It's bad enough I have a boss that can be on the dee dee dee side. I've been nothing but an uber bitch since last night. Fucking great just what I need for the weekend. Fucking hormonal outburst cause by a lovely bitch that will be sure to show up on my door any day now.

Tired ALL the Time

2011-09-19T15:21:00.000-04:00

I totally forgot how busy my life becomes once school is in session. Now that I'm up and out the door by 8AM 6 days a week is killer on my body. I'm running around like a mad woman most of the time that by the end of the week I'm exhausted. This Saturday I passed out somewhere between 9:30 and 10PM and didn't officially get up till 9:30. Granted I was up at 6:45am but I went back to sleep for a few more hours. Thankfully 2 out of 3 professors this semester are cool, the third is well umm an anal asshole.

She's one of those that assumes no one has a life, her class is number one importance and that students even in her evening classes are young kids with no families to take care of. If I posted my syllabus you too would see how much of an anal asshole she is. You cannot have anything on your desk or lap that isn't a pen, paper and book currently reading for class. Book bags must be on the floor, umm fuck you I own expensive shit and putting things on the floor is how they get lost, stolen, or have bugs crawl in them. You MUST shut off your phone, fuck you I have kids, my shit will go on vibrate and if it's one of them calling I will fucking answer. You cannot use a laptop. I can understand that one some what but...some people have issues writing and typing is easier for them. She only allows 4 absences and a medical one is no excuse. If you know there will be an emergency call that you "anticipate" receiving, let her know before class. Yeah cause we can all anticipate an emergency. Hey fuck head would it be called an emergency if we knew it was coming? Ummm I think not. Asshat!

If you're more than 15 minutes late you are marked absent instead of late. 3 lateness's equals an absence. Oh and you can't even so much as get up to use the bathroom. She expect all of us to do that shit before her class. Hey what about us working students, such as myself, that have to leave work early just to TRY to get to class on time. I might as well get a fucking catheter inserted. Oh and the best part is that she puts up our assignments really late, sometimes barely giving a student 24 hours to get it done. Thanks for considering those of us who work for fucking 8 hours before heading your direction. Fuck nut!

OK I think I'm done ranting, for NOW.

So tired

2011-09-09T16:07:00.000-04:00

I hate how tired we get once vacation is over and we all have to jump back into the daily grind. What makes matters even more tiring is that I no longer can sleep in on Saturdays. Now I have to get up as if I was going to work. So that makes 6 days a week where I must wake up by 7AM the latest. UGHHHHH Remind me why I'm going back to school again?

Let the MADNESS Begin!

2011-08-30T12:18:00.000-04:00

It's that time again. Time for school to start and for me for run around like a mad person burning the candle at both ends while I work, go to school, and take care of the family. I have to admit, it was very nice having a break from being super mom. But it's time to dawn my cape again. It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's just Super Liz! Ahhhhhhh

Babies and Bellies Everywhere

2011-08-23T10:24:00.000-04:00

That's all I've been seeing lately. Even in my fucking dreams. The past two days alone have been dreams of fairly young babies and what not. Then when I'm out and about if I'm not seeing a new baby I'm seeing a big ol baby belly. Maybe the world is trying to tell me something. lol Who knows but it's darn annoying that's for sure.

Must remember underlined

2011-08-19T13:49:00.000-04:00

I should post this for my boss to read and for myself. I'm not superhuman and I can break!

August 19, 2011

Capricorn (12/22-1/19)

When it becomes dramatically clear that you can't do it all today, you'll have to let go of some of your obligations. But this is very good news -- and it will send a message to someone powerful that you are not superhuman. Adjusting expectations is important, and doing so is sometimes necessary if you want to keep harmony in your life. You'd do well to adjust some of your own expectations of someone close to you. The fact that the two of you are not on the same page isn't a problem.

WOW I can walk to this place from my house

2011-08-17T11:11:00.000-04:00

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/08/17/sanitation-truck-dangles-from-building-after-smashing-through-depot-wall-in-woodside/

I do enjoy reading these

2011-08-12T16:05:00.000-04:00

August 12, 2011

Capricorn (12/22-1/19)
A lovely, quiet morning could evolve into a very active afternoon -- and a very hectic evening. Your chances of a good night's sleep are slim. You probably already know who will be responsible for the increased drama, and you won't mind the inconvenience at all. This person is making some waves and causing some major changes in your life -- but luckily, these changes will be very positive for you and your people! So how do you want to celebrate?

Hmm I wonder who that person can be. I'm hoping it's my husband, I would love for some waves to happen and major changes to take place.

So annoyed

2011-08-09T12:20:00.001-04:00

I've really come to a point where I hate my office and most of the people who work here. Sad part is that the office is very small and has only about 7 people working here. Everyone expects me to fucking work miracles all the damn time. They assume I have ten heads and twenty arms that can just get it all done RIGHT NOW! I'm sorry but I have tons of other shit to do that takes priority over your petty shit. Look up your own damn exhibits. If you can't find shit that has been properly filed on the fucking database then the problem is you. I don't give a fuck if you have a deadline of today by the boss. I work directly for the boss and he dictates my deadlines. Not some fucking associate who hasn't even been here for a fucking year.

Set The Bar Too High

2011-08-06T15:59:00.000-04:00

It hit me last night that my problem is that I set the bar too high for myself. I expect way too much out of myself and life at times. I need to remember when I do things that the way I envision them might not always be the way the turn out. Life has its own idea of how things are going to work and flow. I'm just here to follow and hopefully survive it mentally sound. What I put myself through this past week must not repeat itself. I need to remember that things will happen in their own time and I cannot rush it along. All I can do it lay the ground work and let time take over.

Hopefully, I can keep all of this in mind as I travel my journey. That way when things don't go as I envisioned it won't be so mentally challenging. I just need to keep rolling with the punches and live life one day at a time.

What a Week!

2011-08-05T13:34:00.000-04:00

Geesh it's been one hell of a fucking week. This had to had been one of the most stressful weeks I've experienced in a long ass time. Tonight calls for a major texas sized drink of something super fucking strong. I don't know what yet, but I will be drunk by 9pm tonight. The only reason I expect not to be drunk is because I'll still be watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes. So bring on the weekend cause it's been a hell of a fucking week.

Stressed OUT!

2011-08-04T10:40:00.000-04:00

OK normally I can handle stress really well, but this time I'm not handling it well at all. This time it's more than just stress, it's emotional stress. And that is one kind of stress I don't do well with. It fucks with my head and heart. It makes an angry bitter bitch that ends up being a hot mess who tends to take out my anger on the world. I don't like myself when I'm that way. And I know others don't like me when I get that way. Honestly, I don't give a flying fuck what others like or not about me, but I do care how I feel about myself.

So with that in mind, I will try to relax and just reflect on life and attempt to see where it takes me. Hopefully it will be a good place.

My heart just broke a little

2011-08-03T14:35:00.000-04:00

I went from completely crazed and angry to having a broken heart in .05 seconds flat. As I sit here at my desk at work, I'm ready to break down in to a fit of tears. However, that is not my style. Instead I will curse, be a bitch, and crack jokes wherever I can. But I swear I feel like the world is against me right now.

Fucking shit!

2011-08-02T16:39:00.002-04:00

fuck you fuck off and die go play in traffic or in front of an oncoming train. Fuck you you fucking fuck!

Nope don't feel better. Son of a mother fucking bitch!

Hurry Up Time

2011-08-02T12:13:00.000-04:00

I really wish I had the ability to mess with time. Today I would make it go faster. On the weekends I would make it go slower. It's just horrible that I really want to find something out but can't just yet. I have to wait to later this afternoon. And even then I won't know if I'll have the answer I'm hoping for. I feel like a mad person and I'm not amused. I just wish I could seriously know the answer one way or another and get it over with.

*le sigh*

When will I learn?

2011-08-01T13:36:00.000-04:00

Really?! When will I learn to really listen to myself. I do things that I know I shouldn't be doing cause I know how it will turn out. But yet I still do it only confirm my initial thought. Why do I drive myself insane this way? Why can't I just be the type of person who practices what they preach in this regard? I can dole out advice with the best of them but yet I can't even begin to follow my own advice. How stupid is that? All I need is to trust my instincts better and learn to have some fucking patience for once in my damn life. OK so I do have some patience and can wait for lots of things. But when it's something I want deep down in my heart, I have no patience. Instead I get impatient do stupid shit to just let myself down. I swear I'm a gluten for punishment. One day I'll learn. I might be on my death bed when I finally learn it, but I swear I fucking will learn.

Signs signs everywhere

2011-07-29T11:22:00.000-04:00

I swear I'm losing it. I'm seeing signs in EVERYTHING lately. I really need to cut this crap out. Everything is not a sign of something. I know this is just my mind playing tricks on me, and damn it it's doing a damn good job at the moment. So not fair. If only my mind could focus on other things, but alas it cannot.

*Le Sigh*

Trying so hard not to obsess...

2011-07-26T11:34:00.000-04:00

But it's freaking hard not to. I really don't want to go into details over why I'm obsessing right now. I'll let the cat out of the bag eventually, but I'm not ready to share with the world just yet. I just can't stand when I get this way. It freaking consumes my mind all damn day long and I can't afford for that to happen. I have work and family to think about first. Thankfully I'm still on summer break from classes. But I bet if I had classes going on right now it would help me keep my mind busy. The fact that work is kinda slow doesn't help either.

Ughhhh I hate this shit!

Stupid Weather

2011-07-25T13:43:00.000-04:00

This stupid heat wave that was unbearable for most of the country totally fucked me up in more ways than one. Not only did I have to leave work early on Thursday in order to avoid an asthma attack, but we also experienced rolling brown outs and a reduction in power. No big deal really since we still had enough power for the a/c to work and for me to be able to use my nebulizer machine.

However, the one thing that didn't survive during all of this was my voice over phone line. For some reason it stopped working. And I didn't realize until today when I was getting repeat phone calls from my SIL trying to talk to the kids. Here I am insisting that my house phone cannot possibly be on call forwarding since I didn't turn it. Yet it was, so now Liz looked like the asshole. Just great.

Another lovely fact was that Doni told Kev last night the phone was messed up but he never bothered to tell me. Good thing T has her own cell phone and can dial out in case of an emergency. Ugh so now once I'm home I must try and fix this damn phone on top of cooking dinner so that my monsters don't go hungry.

Home At Last

2011-07-24T20:22:00.000-04:00

After three weeks with my Mom, my kids are finally home with me. I've so enjoyed my time alone but I really did miss my monsters. Kev with his one liners, and T with her silly teenage antics. Now my house is full of noise, toys, laughter and love. What else could a mama want more?

Trying not to lose it today

2011-07-20T12:32:00.000-04:00

That will be my goal of the day. To not flip the fuck out on someone at the office. I could go on for days with a rant but I will not. I will just attempt to keep my temper in check and I pity the mother fucker who does truly rub me the wrong way today.

Cautiously Optimistic

2011-07-19T14:19:00.000-04:00

That's how I've been feeling the past few days. It surprises me to know that back in 2009 I never would have imagined I would be feeling the way I do lately. What surprises me even more is the fact that I got the big guy on the same page with me. Shocker in this regard. I just hope that what I'm dreaming about does come to fruition. I also hope that if it does, things go smoothly and that I can handle whatever is thrown my way.

Burnt Booty

2011-07-18T15:06:00.000-04:00

That's what I have. I nice burnt ass. Just fucking wonderful. Of all the things to burn on my body, it has to be my back side. This damn chronic pain meds the doc put me on is not conducive to my summer time fun. Granted I'm not a huge fan of the outdoors, but once in a while I do enjoy some fun in the sun, especially with my kids. There is nothing that screams, literally screams, fun like trying to sit on the toilet while your cheeks are burnt. Boy I just hope I don't have to suffer long with this one. As normal, FML folks.

Just relaxing on a Saturday Morning

2011-07-16T12:11:00.000-04:00

And it feels damn good. No husband, no kids, and the cats are sleeping. Ahhh just perfect. I'm getting to watch cartoons and catch up on my soaps with no interruptions other than the ones I create for myself. There is nothing I enjoyed more as a kid growing up than Saturday morning cartoons. I'm so loving that I get to relive that with the Hub channel. HA! Leave it to a TV station to make me happy. Getting to watch shows like Jem, Batman Beyond, G.I. Joe, and Transformers really brings back the good memories.

Lets see what the rest of my Saturday is going to bring. It's a beautiful day out there and I can always clean house tomorrow. It will give me an excuse not to drive upstate. Tee hee I hate those long drives and my back hates them even more, so I avoid them at all cost. Geesh I rather clean the house than take a drive. How sad is that? lol Oh well at least it gives me a reason to be productive this weekend.

Damn I suck at this

2011-07-15T11:12:00.000-04:00

I know I've said a thousand times, but I will say it again. I suck at blogging. I have so much going on in my head that you figure I would be able to blog easily. But nope, no such luck. I guess I'm more of a private person than I thought I was. Either that or I truly just don't have much to share. I tend to share when I'm upset or angry, which I haven't been that much of lately. I guess that's a good thing. That means that things are going relatively smoothly. Truth be told, it's not. I just choose not to bitch about it in public I guess. Maybe one day I'll get better at this. But until that day comes, I will suck at blogging and accept it.

New Journey

2011-06-03T11:32:00.000-04:00

So it's time to embark on a new journey in life. Not one that I really want to take, but it looks like I must regardless. According to my doctor, I'm presenting with fibromyalgia like symptoms. Lucky me. This is something that my mother suffers with and it's not pleasant. The pain I see her in daily is sicking. And now it looks like this could be the root of all my pain issues as well. Lucky me, NOT! Now I get to take daily chronic pain meds that will most likely mess with me in some what shape or form. I needed this like I needed another hole in my head.

Oh dear husband of mine,

2010-08-13T16:21:00.000-04:00

Now please inform me when exactly are we supposed to sit down and have a conversation with your daughter about her behavior if you are never around to have that conversation with? And the times that you are around you don't bother to sit down and have one. So when I suggest having that conversation during the car ride home to her mother, you shoot me down stating that's not the time nor the place to have it. Do you think I don't know that, but when you are so sparse and she doesn't listen to anyone else, when else are we supposed to do this? Then you swear up and down that she is not being treated differently from the other children who do live with us, but when it comes down to it, you do treat her completely different!

You never truly discipline her, and when you do, you don't sit down and explain to her why she's being punished. You just do stupid shit like skip your visitation weekend because of how she behaved last time and not tell her the reason. HELLO MCFLY!!!!! Do you think she's going to magically know that you're fed up with her antics and that is why you're not picking her up? Communication is a wonderful thing oh husband. Maybe you should learn to have some with your kids!

With much love, even if I'm pissed off at you,

Your very much agitated wife.

It's Friday woohoo

2010-08-13T10:02:00.000-04:00

It's finally Friday, oh how I've been waiting for this day to arrive. Not only is it Friday, but one child gets to go back home to her mother today and stop making our lives hell for a few weeks. I don't care how unlucky today is supposed to be, as long as she's going home it's a lucky day in my book.

I know I sound horrible, but geesh even this child's own mother says she's so horrible that she refuses to have more children. Now if that doesn't speak volumes, I don't know what does. I just wish we could turn back the hands of time and do something about how she was being raised sooner. How I wish that the judges could have looked past my husbands skin color and gender and see that she would have been better off being raised by us. Our kids are doing wonderfully and everyone finds them a joy to be around. However, add her to the mix and people want to run for the hills screaming all the way. Sadly I can't blame them since I want to follow suit.

The saddest part of this entire mess is that the mother takes no responsibility for "horrible" her child is. Had she been a better parent, more attentive, caring and the like, maybe the child wouldn't be so damn "horrible." Shame when a grown person is in denial over why they're the reason they child is the way they are.

3 Weeks to go

2010-08-11T09:32:00.000-04:00

I can't freaking wait. In 3 weeks exactly we will be going on our first Disney family vacation. I'm super siked to go since this will be my first time. I can't wait to experience the rides and all that Disney has to offer. The lovely smiles on my kids faces as they see their favorite characters, eat all the junk they could want and ride as many rides as possible. Hopefully we will be able to hit Sea World too. I truly want to see Shamu, my trip will not be complete unless I do.

Also, I would love to be able to see Zafera, my bff for many years who has been living in FL for the past 8+ years. If we can pull off hanging out that would be totally divine. Here's to hoping we have a wonderful trip filled with love, laughter and fun.

To defer or not to defer

2010-08-02T15:33:00.000-04:00

That's the question that has been floating around in my mind for a few weeks now. Background, back in May I applied to a City University as a Fall transfer student. However, I missed the deadline by months. I was supposed to file my application by February 1st. whoops So now I'm on a wait list based off of seat availability. I'm nervous that I may lose my application fee if do not get in. I've been trying to reach someone but haven't been able to either get a straight answer or a live person on the phone. I do know that if I defer I don't lose me application fee and it can be used for the Spring term instead of the Fall. Now keep in mind that the Fall term for my school starts on the 24th of this month. So if I do get in, I have to scramble for tuition. I don't really want to wait for March to start going back to school, but I think I may be better off in the long run if I do wait.

Oh what to do, what to do. HMMMMMM

Another crazy day for me!

2010-07-29T10:15:00.000-04:00

Great I'm looking at another crazy ass day at work. How lovely! The new girl called out sick, the associate is in court all day, so she can't meet with clients today. One of the partners is in court this morning as well, at least I only have to worry about his phone calls for now. That is until he gets back and will expect me to do some work for him as well, even though I don't work for him at all. Our paralegal had to go to court, however, she forgot about two morning meetings today and now my boss is mad that he has to actually meet with clients. OMG the horror an attorney actually having to meet with people he represents and who pay him. *eye roll* Ok whomever you are upstairs just help me get through today please?!

Totally Stressed OUT!

2010-07-28T10:04:00.000-04:00

Damn do I feel freaking stressed the fuck out. There is just way too much going on at once and it's starting to stress me out badly. I can't stand being stressed out. It messes with my whole flow of things. I begin to feel overwhelmed, bitchy, exhausted, sick, you name it. My focus isn't as strong as it should be and it's causing me to slack at the office and at home. I finally have the kids back and they're fine, however, now we've just added my stepdaughter to the mix and she's a major stress factor for me. It's her behavior and lack of discipline from my husband that makes it hard to deal with. He feels that she should be treated differently because she doesn't live with us, but that just doesn't help. It actually makes things worse! And now I'm coming to find out that we're going to have her for 3 weeks straight instead of 2. Oh lord what have I gotten myself into? I know I can help her get herself together and respect others more, but I can't do it alone. I'm only her stepmother, not her biological parent. And when I get zero help from her biological parents what the freak am I supposed to do?! It just kills me because her stepfather can discipline her how he sees fit, yet I can't. This is going to be a losing battle for me and one that's going to cause major trouble in my marriage. Oh just grant me the strength to deal with this for a while longer.

Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, that will be my mantra for a while.

Boy am I a slacker on here

2010-06-07T11:55:00.000-04:00

I truly do suck at blogging. I don't know why I know I can find lots of stupid crap to talk about, I guess I just choose not to. Well anyways, yesterday I took T out shopping for her prom and graduation dresses. Luckily I found both dresses for only 50 bucks, now had I not spent another 42 on myself I would have stayed under budget. DOH! I charged it anyway but still, I should have kept it just to her dresses. Now for the not so lucky part. I managed to step into a fucking pothole while crossing the street. The damn pothole was big enough for my entire left foot to step into up to my ankle. I managed to fall and bust my ass. The lucky part about that was that I didn't break anything. I only managed to bang up my knee and hurt my right foot right where I had surgery a few years back. Needless to say I'm still sore today, yet, here I am at work instead of relaxing at home, where I should be. *sigh* OK that's enough of me bitching for now.

Ughhh

2010-04-20T12:04:00.002-04:00

I swear I don't get why I bother to offer help to people who I know will freaking just take advantage. I know I'm in the legal field and I know that I run across these things daily. But fucking shit I'm not your damn retained lawyer. You are not paying me for my time and assistance. I gave you a packet to fill out and offered to help you LOOK OVER THE FUCKING DOCUMENTS once you filled them out. Not freaking fill them out for you!!!!! I do not know exactly what I am doing here since I've never done this before. But yet you assume that I know what I'm doing because I'm in the legal field. And you didn't bother to fill out any damn information on the papers because you were too smoked out to do so. Come the fuck on now! Who in the mother fucking right mind smokes shit right before they're going to fill out important legal documents. That would be like lighting a doob right before a piss test. This will be the last time I offer my help. Now when your stupid spouse picks up and leaves you all because he got what he wanted from you, I will not be the one to help you get divorced. You've been warned by many people and now you made your bed it's your time to lay in it.

One Lazy Sunday

2010-04-18T17:39:00.003-04:00

That has been my day and I'm fine with that. I've spent my day watching TV, playing games on the laptop and just relaxing. Not a bad Sunday at all. Soon I'll start cooking dinner, meatloaf and mashed taters. Tonight I'll watch Tudors and then I'll just go to bed. Not a bad Sunday at all.

OK So I suck

2010-04-16T11:30:00.003-04:00

I know I know it's been ages since I've blogged, well over a year. I will do better. I must do better. One of these days, yeah right, I'll get back into blogging.

How interesting......

2008-12-05T13:15:00.003-05:00

Get your horoscope for today, Friday 5 December 2008

Bad news may be coming your way today, but deep down inside, you knew this was coming -- and you are emotionally prepared to handle it. Just focus on the things in your life that can you affect, like your job and your friendships. It's healthiest for you to let go of the things you cannot control. The news of the day will remind you that while you can't always get what you want, you have more power than you know what to do with. Start thinking of new ways to use it.

I did get some not so pleasant news and I was prepared to handle it for a change. Well, now it's just a sit and wait game.

Why oh why did I do it?

2008-11-28T19:42:00.001-05:00

Impulse shopping is a horrible thing. I found Kev's bday toy on Amazon for only 35 bucks, 20 off the normal price, and I just had to get the limited edition ice blue ds lite bundle for 135. I know it's a great steal, total was 180 to have em both sent here by the second. I don't really have the money for this but I couldn't help it. Ugh.

Too funny

2008-11-20T22:36:00.000-05:00

What Your Cupcake Says About You

At parties, you tend to be dramatic. You dress up, and you make sure you get attention... one way or another.

You have lots of restraint in your life. You never are victim to your desires.

The most important thing in your life is passion.

You are dominant, vain, and a bit of a show off. To know you is to worship you.

The Cupcake Test

Yay happy post for a change

2008-11-20T15:59:00.002-05:00

Well, let's just say I've been having a pretty crappy week. Granted I've had some good reports from my daughter and school, so not all bad, but still hectic and crazy. My boss has this friend, pretty much his bff, he did our buildings xmas card and they came out great. I asked him if he did them, he said yup that's what I do. So I said awesome how much for wedding invitation. He then asked me if they were for me, which of course they are. I responded with my yes, and he tells me for free. WOOT!!! He said it will be my wedding gift. I'm so freaking happy, I'm getting my invites for free. woot woot!!!!!

I'm just so done

2008-11-06T09:31:00.002-05:00

I swear I really regret the day I said yes to my job. It's been a nice paycheck with a great boss, but the job itself and the people have been nothing but trouble. Everyone else and their mother fucks up, so of course it falls on my lap to be the fucking target. I'm done with it. Now they went and hired a project manager, very cool nice dude, however, now that he's hear the residents all think that I no longer need to be here. They forget that this guy is not here full time, and that this guy isn't even fully under contract. And that I just cannot go back to my old job at the other office like that. They filled that position so I would have no job with no income if they just let me go. But you know what maybe it's for the best. I'll try to get unemployment until I get placed at a law firm. Boy am I glad I already started looking and have my resume out there. Nothing like coming to work at a place where the majority want you fired.

Our Halloween

2008-11-01T12:13:00.001-04:00

I can't do it anymore

2008-10-31T10:47:00.003-04:00

I can't pull off my fake face of happiness. I don't know I just feel like crawling in the bed and not coming out ever. I had a horrible thought last night. I feel so damn emotional and distant from the world. It's causing problems at home and in school. I've been so damn down that I didn't even notice something major that I've been pushing my love on. :( I feel like I want to cry and beat someone all at once. Ugh I hate this shit, I'm on fucking meds, I shouldn't be feeling down and what not. I wish I could just explain it all but I can't. I can hardly understand it my damn self. I just fucking it all and hate myself at the moment.

LMFAO!

2008-10-30T13:20:00.001-04:00

What Your Love of Peanut Butter Cups Says About You

You are hedonistic... sometimes to the point of being greedy.

You love to eat, and there's no chance you're sharing your candy!

While you may be greedy, it's with good reason. You have great taste.

The things you love are worth loving, and it's no wonder you crave them.

What Does Your Favorite Candy Say About You?

Saw this and had to repost

2008-10-29T14:23:00.001-04:00

Free Dunkin Donut Coffee Sample

2008-10-26T21:05:00.001-04:00

I hate my sinuses

2008-10-24T19:28:00.004-04:00

Yet another sinus infucktion! I just want it to pass already. I hate this shit, it's time to see another doctor who can actually try to do something for me, instead of just telling me politely that I'm fucked. DOH!

It was time for a color change

2008-10-19T18:34:00.002-04:00

Before

And after

Too Funny

2008-10-17T15:16:00.001-04:00

This is Love

2008-10-11T19:51:00.000-04:00

Waiting

2008-10-09T09:27:00.002-04:00

That seems to be all that I've been doing. If I'm not waiting on my grades, I'm waiting on test results for T. And if not that then I'm waiting on the dates to get here to take her for further testing. I honestly feel like I'm in a state of nothingness. Everyone is asking me how am I doing and what's going on. I truly don't know how to respond. I'm really not thinking ahead and only taking things one day at a time. I mean damn what else is there to do in a case like this. I already know how I can get, and if I worry or make myself sick because of my anxiety, I will be no good to my daughter who needs a strong Mami right now. People ask if I'm fine. Am I? No! Of course I'm not fine, but jeez what am I supposed to do about it? All I can do is just take it day by day and cross those bridges when I get to them. Truthfully, I'm a wreck inside and scared out of my gourd. Kev even noticed that I've been a bit off with him. I truly don't mean to be, but I can't help it. It is now his turn to do the campus education thing and be busy. I took my 2.5 years, now it's his turn. Maybe a small part of me is upset that I'm pretty much dealing with most of this alone, but it's not his fault. I don't know. All I do know is that I feel worn and tired, but I can't let that over run my life. I know when I get worn out I get short fused. So he is getting some of that. I don't mean to dish it to him, but I can't help it. He's working full time going to school full time and is in a bit of a selfish mode, granted he's been there for a while now, but this time it's understandable. I just wish he would stop for a moment and realize there are other things going on besides his job and school work. Anyways enough ramblings. Whatever comes comes and I'll deal with it as best as I can.

Too cute

2008-10-07T13:02:00.002-04:00

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

I did it

2008-09-20T11:00:00.000-04:00

Emotional

2008-09-17T11:03:00.001-04:00

I'm feeling so fucking emotional this week. I know it's hormones due to af, but life is also a huge factor. My face has broken out something nasty and I feel like I just want to burst out into tears right now. I'm supposed to be having a happy week, after all my graduation is tomorrow. The way I feel I totally want to skip it, but I have my mom coming out and I paid for my cap and gown already. Life just fucking sucks ass this month.

Party Time

2008-09-13T19:01:00.001-04:00

My friend is getting married soon and tonight is her bacheloret party so I'm gonna go and have a hell of time. I need to get my mind off of things so this will be wonderful.

Never Forget

2008-09-11T10:36:00.001-04:00

May all those souls rest in peace.

Antonio, no not my son

2008-09-10T20:09:00.002-04:00

But my cousin. He's been living with bone cancer and a brain aneurysm for almost 8 years now, but it looks like he could be nearing the end. My mother informed me today that she has to get back home to him fast because he's been real sick. She has been caring for him on and off when he's been sick for the past few years. My aunt just doesn't have the time since she's working her ass off to take care of him. I just hate this, it's so not fair to my family. My poor aunt, she has to be going through so much pain. This decade hasn't been good to her, and the last two years have been the worst. She just can't catch a break with her children or grandchildren. Her first born grandchild, Brianna, had a horrible asthma attack that put her in a coma. She lost so much oxygen that she is now pretty much a vegetable. A once brilliantly gifted girl is now a fucking vegetable. She's celebrated her Quintenera in the hospital barely able to move her body or stay awake. Now Tony is on his way out too. We've all known this was coming, and living 8 years after only being given 2 max is wonderful. It's just so fucking sad and heart breaking to watch. What did my family do to get such horrible health?

Ugh time to stop before I lose it and I must keep it together.

Life is strange

2008-09-01T14:08:00.002-04:00

I don't know really what to say other than life is just strange. My mind is in a spot that I never imaged it would be, but it is there now. So now I will just sit back and reflect. Let my mind, heart, and soul work as one.

Just want to run and cry

2008-08-26T12:43:00.002-04:00

I swear when you think things are getting good, they're not! I'm so used to dealing with my own health issues that they don't phase me. But when it comes to my kids, I freaking lose it! And can you blame any parent really? What I thought was just nothing, turned out to be something. So now I have to take my poor daughter to not one but two different specialist to get her looked at. My poor little girl is a scaredy cat as is, so now she's truly worried and sad. I hate looking at my girl that way. And no matter how many times I say it will be OK, it's not enough for her. I just want my little girl to be fine. She's growing up to be a beautiful young lady and I don't want her to have to deal with health issues so early on in life.

Got my tattoo

2008-08-10T19:58:00.004-04:00

Well I finally got my tattoo last night. It stands for all that I have endured while going to school and yet I prevailed. It feels so damn good to be done getting my associates. I can't wait till graduation next month. I haven't marched in a graduation since Junior High. This graduations means so much to me and I'm thankful for everyone that has helped me along the way.

Song of the day is.......

2008-08-08T11:36:00.002-04:00

No more classes no more books no more teachers dirty looks..... lmao come on folks you know this one sing it with me. lmao

Even though I have started my educational career at Kaplan online towards my BA, I feel like that will be nothing since I have officially finished taking classes at my local community college. I am done! I conquered the school and will be marching down that isle next month with the other graduates. I can't freaking way. I was so excited to be done that I could not sleep for shit last night. But hey I don't care I done with campus classes. No more rushing to school now I can just go home after work, pick up my lil guy and be there for my daughter. Man knowing that feels fucking awesome!!!!!!

Busy busy busy

2008-08-04T13:18:00.001-04:00

That's what I've been a busy little bee. I'm just about finished with classes at school, but started Kaplan online already. But as of this Thursday no more on campus classes for me YAY!!!!!!! I can't believe I finally fucking did it. I can't wait to be walking down that isle to get my degree next month. I'm so damn excited and nervous. But I'm going to do it and make my family proud!

OMG Too Fucking Funny!!!!!

2008-07-20T11:22:00.000-04:00

Now tell me this ain't true!!!!!

2008-07-17T20:38:00.001-04:00

see famous look-a-like faces

Now you understand the past 8 years!!!!

BLAH!

2008-07-15T14:36:00.000-04:00

BLAH! That's how I feel, just BLAH!

Worth reading

2008-07-07T09:21:00.002-04:00

This in an email I got this morning and I must say I like it.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

“If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?” -- George Carlin

George Carlin mourned as counterculture hero - Yahoo! News

2008-06-23T10:55:00.001-04:00

George Carlin mourned as counterculture hero - Yahoo! News

Now this is one comedian whom I shall miss dearly. Growing up watching his acts made me open my eyes to the world. He was one of the few that took real life issues and tackled them. This man was a legend in his time and now will be one past his time.

R.I.P

My pictures from today

2008-06-22T16:55:00.004-04:00

We took the kids to the park for a little bit, and I took some pictures while I was there.

Cramp

2008-06-21T16:11:00.001-04:00

I hate af, I hate cramps, I hate being a women at times!!!!
The End

Vote Repulican!

2008-06-18T14:39:00.001-04:00

This is just scary

2008-06-16T10:36:00.002-04:00

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/galleries/bronx_fire/bronx_fire.html
http://gothamist.com/2008/06/16/two_more_die_from_middle_village_fi.php

There was a fire in my old neighborhood yesterday. I swear Queens is known for Fathers Day fires, I hate it. But what really freaked me out about this fire is the fact, that had I not moved into my place now, I would have moved into a house right around the corner from this fire. That building was just finished being put up about 2 years ago. They put apartments on top and the stores on the bottom. It was looking good for that area, it tends to be a big desolate. Man I'm just glad that I moved from Middle Village and that I didn't take the place instead. I'm sorry for the deaths this fire has cost, but I'm so happy my family wasn't in the mist of that chaos.

Father's Day

2008-06-15T20:55:00.002-04:00

Pretty uneventful over here but hey I like it that way. T's friend left this morning, lil man was pretty good all day. Big Kev stayed on the computer playing around with paint shop. He's into making album covers now. I swear that man never sticks to one thing. I've never seen someone be so multi talented but never quite perfectly skilled at something. Well, scratch that he's perfectly skilled at DJ'n so that's something he's always stuck with.

Diner was pretty good, I made mashed potatoes and whole chicken. Wasn't in the mood for salad or corn so no other sides. Brunch was pretty decent too, we ordered from the local dinner, they're good but could have been better today. I still need to call my bro and wish him a happy fathers day. The punk spent the day at his bil's in the pool. Of course they only invited her side of the family, we're not that important to them. *roll* Oh well, it's all good I had a fine day playing games on the net, and watching zombie movies all day. Man I love gory movies, I must be some sick fuck to enjoy it so much. *giggle*

There is just one thing I would change about today. The fact that I have cramps galore and can't stand that AF is on her way. I swear I wish these damn people can get shit right. Between the doc, pharm, and insurance I can't get the right freaking birth control pills. If I'm going to keep getting af then I'm not going to bother with these damn pills. I'll find something else or just not take anything. I'm very fed up with af and endo and really don't want to deal with it much more. But oh well I'm a woman and have to.

Bored

2008-06-14T17:24:00.001-04:00

Your Mind is Green

Of all the mind types, yours has the most balance.

You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver.

You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

What Color Is Your Mind?

Now this one is on the money

You Will Be an Unconventional Bride!

You're probably the type of girl who never considered getting married - until you met *him*

You're not a big fan of white dresses, church weddings, or cheesy DJ's

That's okay - you'll do it your way... whether that means a Vegas wedding or guys as bridesmen

While you may not toss the bouquet (or have anyone to toss it to), it will still be the most romantic day of your life!

What Kind of Bride Will You Be?

The grades are in

2008-06-13T10:42:00.002-04:00

And I gotta say I did pretty darn well. In Statistics I got a C, which when you think about it is great cause I truly should have failed. In English 102 I got a B, she wouldn't give me anything better than a B+ on my papers, and I wasn't going to rewrite B papers when I had other classes to worry about. In Intro to Philosophy, I got an A, and I didn't expect anything less. That teacher was nice but kinda off in a cute way. The class however, barely spoke so there was about 5 of us including myself who kept it going. And in my Civil Litigation class I got another A. Another class I didn't expect anything less in. I aced all her exams, did her two projects with no problem, and have a great rapor with her, she will be an awesome reference one day. So all in all I have a term GPA of 3.250, with a cumulative GPA of 3.384. Not the 3.5 that I wanted but it should still be enough to graduate with honors. I can't believe it, just one more class to go and I'm walking down that isle accepting my degree. Me a college graduate. Never would I have imagined it. I mean I always wanted it, but the way life had led me, I just didn't expect it. I'm so proud that I've been able to do it and keep on chugging no matter what obstacles were thrown at me.

Woot world here I come even stronger than before!

Just wanted to share the pics I took today

2008-06-12T19:41:00.006-04:00

I was asked by some friends, Dea particularly, to take pics of the sculpture made of erector sketch toys in Rockefeller Center. So after work I stopped by and took a few pics.

This is my bosses dog, Kate. I want one just like her one day.

Me being silly

Well, that's all I got for now. Nothing spectacular to say just wanted to share the pics.

A photo blog?

2008-06-11T21:33:00.003-04:00

I've been looking at blogs here and there, and I've noticed lots of photo blogs. I must say, I've seen some beautiful pictures. I bow my hat to you ladies that find beauty is so many things. But this now has me thinking, what if I start one? I don't see why I can't, I just got a new camera for mothers day. And it takes really good pics. But then I also think how lazy I can get when it comes to uploading pics, and what time will I really have to take pictures? However, I do have the sd card, and my laptop does have a slot. So I guess it's not impossible to do with a bit of effort. I am after all gonna have some time on my hands again. Well, there you have it, it's not impossible and it's worth the try. Let's see what I come up with. *giggle*

Happy Birthday My Lil Girl

2008-06-09T12:01:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it's been twelve years already. My girl is not staying small. She's almost if not already my height. Beautiful as can be, and smart too. She's going to make one hell of a knock out when she's fully a woman. Not that's not a knock out already. lol Hey I'm her mom and I'm entitled to brag about it. teehee I'm just so glad that I'm done with classes for now. I get to go home and make her favorite dinner, tacos, and cut a cake without worrying about anything else. :) That feels great!

Happy Birthday My Lovely T.
Mami Loves You!!

Yup it's been a while!

2008-06-06T10:45:00.002-04:00

But you know me never blog constantly. So let's see the latest? I passed the first session of the spring semester. Now all I have to do is pass my summer class and I will graduate. Man it's been on long and hard road. But I traveled it and now I'm nearing the end. Boy am I glad I stuck to my guns and didn't let anything stop me. Not my hospitalization, drama at home, moving mad times, having surgery twice. NADA!!!! And to top it off I came home to this

Now tell me that's not the sweetest thing in the world?! He makes everything that I do worth it. It's all for him and his big sis!

Bout Time!

2007-12-31T18:44:00.000-05:00

It's about damn time I got the ring from my guy. It only took 5.5 years and a 3 year old later to get it. *giggle* And let me tell you I'm truly a blushing bride. Never ever ever would I have imagined that I would be so in to this. I registered at the knot, started looking at dresses and I'm actually looking forward to buying bridal magazines. Is this really me? lol I can't believe how damn excited I am. It feels so good to know this is actually going to happen. I have to admit the year is ending quite nicely. I just pray that 2008 continues to be grand for us. It feels like a fresh start. A new job making good money, a new bigger better place, the ring! teehee And the best part I will graduate school in a bit over six months. That is a major accomplishment in itself. I now have a new outlook on things that's for sure. I'm going to do my best to keep on being determined and to continue to think positive. Once I started on the positive track I've gotten so much positive in return. Here's to a happy and healthy 2008 for all!!!!!

The Ring!!!!!

Actually Feel Like I'm on a Roll

2007-11-11T18:39:00.000-05:00

I can't believe how satisfied I feel by knowing that I've buckled down and did what I had to do for school. The past two weeks I've been busy either studying or doing homework for different classes. My Saturday class that I have been so slacking on, I finally pretty much caught up. I owed the professor so much work, it wasn't even funny. I had a list of about 9 things to do, and I'm down to 3. Man that feels so damn good to know that I'm getting this done.

My other classes I buckled down and studied hard. I focused and kept at my math work. Making sure that I know what I was doing in order to pass my midterm. On the last practice exam for it I failed. I was so nervous that I was going to fail the actual exam. But I studied with a goal of only getting 12 out of 20 correct in order to pass. But I actually got 15 out of 20 correct. And he still had to count the partial points. So my grade can actually go up. That's a good thing to know.

With my psych class I had another midterm coming up. I spent hours studying for that one. Boy I'm glad I did cause I feel that I did awesome. I almost screwed myself over because I misunderstood her instructions and only focused on 2 out of the 3 essay questions. And of course I focused on the two that I only to pick one out of. Thankfully the professor alloted us a few minutes to read over the chapters, so I took that time to skim the third question that I didn't focus on. So between that skimming, and the question actually being a some what legal one, I feel that I pulled it off.

I don't know who you are up there keeping an eye out on me, but thanks for doing so.

Feeling like a kettle ready to blow it's top off!

2007-09-09T15:49:00.000-04:00

That's exactly how I feel right now. Like a tea pot that's about to burst. I don't like feeling this overwhelmed and having all this anxiety/anger build up inside. School has officially started as of yesterday, but I didn't even bother going to class. Why? Because what's the point of trying to get a validation sticker when the bursars office is closed. I need a bill stating that I owe nothing in order to get the sticker. But I'm not even sure I can get that sticker since I have a stop from last semester that was issued by the bursars office. I swear this fucking surgery has really fucked everything up for me. Landing in the hospital back in Nov and finding out I have endo has ruined so much in my life. I had to take time off of school making me a semester behind. Now I will not graduate in two years and it will more than likely take me a whole extra semester to do so. It cause me to loss my grant that I am now fighting to keep. And of course I haven't heard a word yet as to if I won the appeal or not. I shouldn't have even lost the grant to begin with since I should have been exempt due to my medical leave. Ughhhh I just hate this all right now. I need to go to the doctor but I don't want to. I feel ashamed to go. I don't want to see the shrink, but I need meds. And I know my gp won't give them to me. I wish he would. I guess I'll just have to buck up and either find a shrink or go to my gp and beg. Man if things could just go good for one straight year for me for once.

So not ready

2007-08-26T11:26:00.000-04:00

OK so yesterday I went to my friends house. She's getting married next month and I'm in the party. So she wanted bridal party to meet up go look for shoes and put together some favors. Fine right, not a problem right? Oh boy that is so not the case. Not only am I recovering from foot surgery but so is another brides maid. Walking around Kings Plaza mall was not fun. I did it though without any complaints. So I'm proud of myself there. I didn't even bitch or moan while trying on the damn high heels. But the ones we all fell in love with I couldn't do, neither could the other girl. I was starting to get mad and wonder if I really can do this. Regardless of how I feel I will do this for her. She's my friend and deserves a nice wedding. So I will dawn high heel shoes for the ceremony and pictures. But I will not wear them for the reception.

On a good note we were able to find something that I can manage with. I just have to train my foot so to speak. I need to wear them for a few minutes daily so that I can get used to them. Thankfully they are name brand shoes meant for people with some what jacked up feet. But of course when you want name brand and comfort you have to pay for it. However, one of the other girls was smart enough to tell them 70 was too much and we were going to keep on looking. We managed to barter down to 55.20. And the color of the shoes match the dress perfectly. So it actually worked out great. My friend was very impressed with me because I just kept going and not complained a bit.

We did have fun, we ate, joked, laughed and put together 50 out of 100 favors. So all in all even though I got home late the day went great and a lot got done for the wedding.

Damn I really suck at this!

2007-08-17T17:19:00.000-04:00

HMM Let's see where do I even begin. Life has been well, life! Busy crazy and all over the place. Since I've last blogged I've had foot surgery, relocated and finished my summer classes.

The foot surgery went well, better than I actually expected. I was not knocked out but I was sedated. So basically it was like I was in that wakeful sleep stage where you know what's going on around you but your not fully awake. I went back to work pretty much right away, the following Monday. I was on crutches for about 1.5 weeks, then I was using a cane for the duration. Which I just put away today! WOOT!!! I had to wear the boot for an extra week until I was able to buy a pair of crocs. The only thing that fits my foot at the moment. I think those things are ugly but hey they fit and I only paid 15 bucks. The scar has healed up pretty nicely, but it opened up again once the stitches came out. Ouch!!!!!!! It's pretty much 95% closed up but I'm having a stubborn part. Just like my body to be stubborn. All in all I'm doing better and walking normal. Now I just hope I'll be ready for the wedding next month.

Now the move, that went ughhh. I had a scheduled move for Sat the 27 with the satellite people. But of course I had issues with that. The fucker showed up called my old place then said no one was home. Of course no one was home asshole you called the old house! Mind you Kev was outside and waved the guy in. I bitched and got a 100 credit and rescheduled for the following Sat. That would have went smoothly but nooooo not for me. Another asshole canceled the appointment and didn't put a name so no one to blame. What saved me was the fact that I had scheduled another hook up for a third box. I got a nice manager who set it all straight. The place isn't the best and we're so not staying here for long. Once our taxes come we're going to move again. This place isn't worth the money.

The kids are back home, well Kev is anyway. T went to go see her grandma and aunt. She loves spending time with them I couldn't say no, plus it saves me the headache of hearing her bitch about MIL. I'm getting her today and the next week she's going with Kev to MILs. Then off to my bros for a few days before school starts.

School, I got a B- in that class, woohoo. I barely passed it considering I missed so many days. Didn't take the first exam, walked into the second one unprepared (got a 70), and handed in all my assignments late. I had to take the final and the make up first test at the same time. I had to wait for my net to be hooked up in order to do the work. Thankfully the professor was understanding.

Speaking of net that was a whole other issue in itself. I couldn't get net right away because I was going with cable over dsl. And of course things aren't easy for me. I've said that right? The previous tenants left a bill of almost 1000 so I had to have an utility bill in my name first along with a notarized letter from the LL stating that I live here now. Once I finally got the bill I went and ordered my net. Of course the girl only took the two bills and didn't even bother with the letter. But hey whatever I got my net. I went with Earthlink, which scammed me by the way. They failed to inform me that they don't do wireless and only allow the modem to work with one computer. So I had to go out and by a wireless router. But now I'm all good and things are set.

Now I have the lovely luck of fighting of laryngitis. I'm coughing like no ones business, lost my voice, but I'm getting it back. And I'm using the pump like wow! I should really do a treatment and I fast.

Well fuck that's enough for now I have to treat and cook.

Pictures from Ts birthday

2007-06-18T11:25:00.000-04:00

School is done for two weeks and my little girl is now 11!!

2007-06-10T16:17:00.000-04:00

First woohoo I made it through another semester at school and did pretty well. I managed to pass my accounting class, even though I bombed the final. I passed my exit out exam for math with the highest score in the class so far. A few students still have to take it. My law class should be a good grade, I had an A to date when I handed in my final legal memo. I'm must say I'm so glad it's over. The summer session starts on the 25th but it shouldn't be so hard, I'm retaking a class that I started to take the semester I took leave. If I don't pass that class with a good grade I have no one to blame but myself.

And OMG I can't believe my little girl is now 11 years old. She just looks so damn grown now it's scary. She is one beautiful young girl who is becoming a beautiful young woman. She enjoyed her day yesterday so much, and I'm glad. It started off with a mani pedi, then off to get her hair cut and straightened out. She looks great that way but so much older. After that her bff met us at home then we went to pierce her ears, she wanted a second hole. After that we all went rollerskating, even her little brother joined in. And OMG did that boy look so cute trying to skate.

Today Kev took her to buy a new pair of sneakers and an outfit or two. But the best news of and gift she got yesterday was her acceptance letter to the magnet school for smart kids. We were so thrilled that had to have been the best gift she could have gotten yesterday.

WOOHOO GO T MOM IS PROUD OF YA!!!!!!!

So screwed it's not even funny

2007-05-27T18:35:00.000-04:00

I messed up big time and missed the last two accounting classes over the past two Saturdays. The first one I had no babysitting, the second one I was too tired from the night before to get up in the morning. So now because I slacked I managed to miss all the review and the final is on the 2nd of June. I wouldn't normally worry, but accounting I really just don't get. I'm fucked up the ass with no lube. Now I have one week to try and review on my own and hope that I can manage to at least pass this final by the skin of my teeth.

On a good note my cousins daughter did wake from the coma. She's still not 100% better, but she's awake. The swelling in her eyes went down, and she's very responsive, however, she still can not speak. And the poor thing gets very frustrated when she tries to with no avail.

MIL appears to be kissing ass right now. It's freaking funny actually. She expects all of us to go to a graduation party in PA. Never mind the fact that it happens to be on the same day of T's 11th birthday. Or the fact that we would have to rent a car to make the trip. And who do you think she expects to rent the car? Why us of course, like we can shit out the money for that. Sorry but 1 we don't have the money to rent a car, and 2 I'm not forcing my kid to celebrate someone else's graduation and not her birthday on her actual birthday! Especially with people we've never met.

I hope finals go by fast, I have three finals and one final memo to hand in. I need to work on that memo but I so hate this law class. At least I got the stops taken off my registrations and I can register as soon as I get a date to do it.

Man it's been a while for real this time

2007-05-08T15:27:00.000-04:00

Over a month since my last blog post. Things have been so crazy it's not even funny. Work has me busy, school has me busy, the kids have me busy, all and all life just has me busy. We are still waiting to hear from the school T applied for. I'm sure she got in but I would like to see it in writing. Kev has pink eye right now so I've missed two days of work and a midterm today. I hope I can make up for it Thursday with no problem. I'm trying to come up with a payment plan for school. Because of my medical leave for fall I'm responsible for a percentage of the tuition. Over $800 and I don't know how I'm really going to pay that. I told them I could pay $200 this week and next month pay $400. I should get my grant money next month so I can pay that $4oo and not have it hurt, like it would this month. I hope they OK the offer. I have to wait for a call back from them.

On a good note I will be working full time in the summer so that means more money. So after July 4th my check will look very nice. One of them should cover most if not all of Kevs daycare. However, I will also be getting bunion surgery on both feet this summer too. I will do it one at a time so that I can work and go to school. I know it's nuts but if I don't have it done I will suffer in pain daily. I've had enough daily suffering to last a life time with my other health issues.

Another good note is that my cousins kid is breathing on her own. She can breath better with the respirator, but is breathing well enough on her own to be off of it. She is still in a coma with no real signs of waking any time soon. So because of that they are prepping her to be taken home that way. Not a choice I would make but I have to respect my cousins choice. I just hope she wakes up and doesn't end up like that for the rest of her life. If you can even call that a life.

I would write more but frankly I don't feel like it.

Life is cruel and unfair at times

2007-04-07T20:06:00.000-04:00

I just got off the phone with my cousin to see how her daughter is doing. She is still the same but is responding to pain. It also seems like she is trying to open her eyes, but just can't do it yet. The swelling is still in the brain but no hemorrhaging or any other problems of that sort. They're going to run a MRI in the morning. Poor lil girl is only 13 years old. How can something so horrible happen? I knew asthma was a killer, hell I have it. But I had no idea it could make a person comatose.

My heart is breaking for my cousin and for Brianna, but this just goes to show you that as a parent, we should never slack on the life saving medicine our children should be taking. If she had been on the medicine like she was told to be on, she wouldn't be in the state she is in now.

I would love to believe in God ya know, but it's things like this that make me question. I know we are here for many reasons, including suffering. But why make children suffer so? How does that make sense? How does that teach a lesson to the ones suffering? The only ones who could even possibly learn a lesson are the parents or other adults. And it's just not fair to make a child suffer in order for an adult to learn something in life.

This has me in the crappiest mood possible. I try not to think about it but I can't help it. It's on the back of my mind like you won't believe. I freaking babysat this child when she was only a few months old. I've seen her grow up into the young woman she's become today. Just please let her be OK. That's all I want for her to wake up and things be fine.

Damn it's been a while

2007-04-06T09:38:00.000-04:00

I've been busy like usual but I also haven't exactly been in the blogging mood. This week has been a good one so I can't bitch about it. It started off with the circus on Monday and the kids loved it. Tuesday was just a regular day but with no classes. WOOHOO Spring Break!!!! Wednesday I had my follow up allergist appointment to start my allergy shots. I have to get them weekly or bi weekly at least. Kev met me and we came home and just relaxed. UMMM Ya relaxed that's it. lol Thursday he also met me and we just came home to chill. It's been nice just spending time alone. I love it when the house is empty.

T is off visiting her godmother for a few days, she should return tomorrow night. Doni came on Wednesday night so right now I just have her and lil man. I'll have to find something for us to do later, hopefully the weather won't be too bad and maybe I can take them to the park. I do have to go out regardless, must go to the butcher and get meat for the next few days. I should also pick up food for Sunday. Nothing special just maybe a bird or ham. I did pick up some clothes for the kids, oh yeah I did that on Tuesday I forgot about that. DOH! Nothing special just regular clothes they can wear over again. Jeans, polo and jean cap for Kev, a cute dress that T will wear in the summer. So it's not a waste of money plus I got them for a little over 20 bucks so that's all good.

We are thinking of just going to the movies on Sunday and that's pretty much it. My bro did want to do something but he failed to call me and set something up before he left for his trip. So I hope he doesn't expect us to travel or anything like that on short notice. Sorry bro love ya but shit you need to stick to your word. I do need to get some studying done but of course I haven't. I suck when it comes to studying. I've almost never done it. But hey I'm still a honor student so I must be doing something right.

Hmmm I really can't think of what else to write about so till next time.

Man what a day

2007-03-24T21:29:00.000-04:00

Holy crap this Saturday class is something else. It's bad enough I hardly get what the fuck is being taught, but the professor is just WOW!!!! I have no words for this man. He really is just out there. But I've been told the way to pass him is to do his work and to try and befriend him. If I can do both he will up my grade no matter how I do. So befriend him I'm gonna, and I think I might have started. Today he asked about the pet food recall and what brands where on the list. Well, lucky me I had printed a copy of that list on Thursday and left it in my bag. So I gave it to him to keep. I think the dog food he just got is on the list. And he was talking to me a bit during the break today. So woohoo, ya I gotta play a bit of the kiss ass but fuck I need all the help I can get in this class. Especially after missing last week, I missed an important class with lots of important notes I need to find a way to get.

But crap did todays class give me a freaking headache. After that I had to go to FedEx/Kinkos to make copies of my book for my classmate. Since we are taking two classes together and we are cool we're book sharing. Spent like 30 bucks on copies, well, she did I didn't. But it's still cheaper than buying the book at the bookstore.

Another thing not helping out the past few days are these damn cramps I'm getting. OMG they are painful, I might just pop one of my script pain pills to help. I'm saving them for my afs but this hurts almost as bad.

Grrr I need to buy a new mouse also. This one is on it's last licks. IT was bad enough that Kev broke it more that it was messed up, but now the cord is pretty shot too. I had a hard enough time locating the driver required to re install the damn thing. I lost the driver when I tried to see if Kevs new wireless mouse was working or not. It messed up both our laptops. This man better get me my mouse fast.

On a good note T's bunk futon bed is now up in her room. It gives her more space in there, plus it gives Doni her own bed to sleep in. So this should end the complaints I get about their sleeping arrangements. If it doesn't so help those girls cause I will hurt em.

Well it's getting late and I want to relax. So that's all for now.

Sad day for me today

2007-03-21T18:16:00.000-04:00

Well not that sad because I kinda already had an idea this was an issue, but now it has been confirmed. After going to the allergist today and being in there for four, yes four fucking hours! It has been confirmed that I'm allergic to cats, dust, and tree pollen. And of course I have two cats that I now need to get rid off. I was planning on getting rid of the boy because he's become to unruly, but I love my Sandy and I didn't plan on getting rid of her. She's my fluff ball. I got her for mother's day the year before I got pg with Kev. She was my baby fever fix. When I saw her in the pet shop she just looked so pretty and tiny. And once I held her she felt like a ball of cotton and I knew she was meant to be mine. So Kev got her for me and I was in love with a cat for the first time ever. Gradually she attached herself to Tiana, so she's really become a part of the family that we all loved. Smokey I had gotten to satisfy Kevs need for his own cat, but he turned out to be more than we can handle. The straw that broke my back was the scratch he gave lil Kev in the face. But the finally straw that broke big Kevs back is the fact that we have had to purchase a brand new bed for T thanks to the piss stain and smell he left on her freaking mattress!

But man on man the allergist is not fun. I managed to get stuck 41 freaking times today alone. First they did the scratch test on my arms. So each arm got 16 damn scratches, then off to the lab for two viles of blood to be taken. After the scratch test showed that I had no reaction, the doctor decided to play it safe and do some sort of other test that required 8 more needle punctures under the skin on the top of my left arm. And OMG it was horrible all of it. The scratch tests hurt more than the freaking first four needles. But the last four hurt because it hit the fleshy area of my arm. All and all it was a choice she made because I do have allergies. I have to go back in 2 weeks and if my lab work comes back good she wants to do allergy shots. I'm a bit nervous about those but hey it's either that or suffer with repeat sinus infections or an asthma attack due to the pollen coming fairly soon.

Well, I have some steak marinating that I have to put on the grill so that's all folks.

Last Weekends Pictures as Promised

2007-03-18T18:35:00.000-04:00

Ain't I cute?!!!

The cousins

Sis is giving me a push

Swing time fun

The Day of Rest

2007-03-18T17:18:00.000-04:00

So it's Sunday and it's been a nice and quiet one. Just how I like it. This morning I went to get my bi-weekly pampering and it felt great. I did get the girl that gives the pedicures to fast, but at least her paint jobs make up for the speediness. I'm totally in love with the color I picked for my nails, I so have to go buy a bottle. It's called Sands of Time by Maybeline. Some one must have left it behind after getting their nails done.

UGHHH I'm so tired of the snow and ice already. You can hardly walk out there with all the damn icy snow on the ground. I almost busted my ass going down my own front steps. The snow and ice fell off our awning and all over our steps. NICE!!!!!! And then with the temps going up and down the snow melts and more ice begins to form. It's going to be a mess for a few days until the sun melts this whole mess away. At least the snow will make sure our upstate rivers are full. Gotta try and look at the bright side of things right?

I did my math homework earlier too, so I got that out of the way. I tried to do my law work but I was a bit confused on it. I'll have to ask my professor what exactly she wants so that I can do it correctly. It's not that hard really but the explanation isn't crystal clear and I hate doing things half assed. Especially in law, after all this is the field I plan to make my career in.

Tonight I'm making Crockpot chicken tacos. They taste so yummy that way and it's the easiest meal to make. Just mix chicken broth, taco seasonings and chicken cutlet in the pot cook on high for 2-3 hours and shred. How much easier can it get?

Well, I better get going and check on the lil dude. He's throwing a screaming fit and I'm willing to bet it's over his mega blocks!

Snowed in Saturday

2007-03-17T14:06:00.000-04:00

So I woke up to a good amount of frozen snow out there this morning. Needless to say I skipped class because of it. They didn't even plow the street, there is no way I'm taking mass transit to school today. Those buses can lose traction easy. I'm not going to risk that. I highly doubt many people went today anyway. I spoke to Rebeena and she said that the school streets for parking were dead. And they are never that way unless there are no classes. So I'm sure not may showed, maybe even the professor himself.

Since it's so cold and icy out I'm gonna crock pot a good chicken wings in honey sauce meal. I guess I'll make some rice to go with that. I can just imagine how good that will taste later. Man I must admit it feels good to just be home right now not running around. Kev is napping, T watching TV, and Big Kev went to the market to get the food for later. Myself, I'm just pogo'n it up today. I should and will do my homework later on. It's not much but I want to get it out the way.

Shame the weather messed up the parade for people, but the actual city didn't get much snow so I guess it wasn't too ruined. That's one thing I hate about the difference between Queens and Manhattan. They almost never get a good accumulation of snow so the rest of the boroughs get ignored. But oh well what can I do about that really. Not much to do but move out of NYC one day. I hope to achieve that sooner rather than later.

Friday yet again

2007-03-16T19:54:00.000-04:00

Oh how I love Fridays, it's just a shame that I have class tomorrow. But I think I might skip it. We got hit with one hell of a snow/hail storm today and it's not going to let up any time soon. It will probably still be hailing in the morning and I don't think I want to travel in that crap. I'll wait it out and see how it goes. I should go it's accounting class and it's only my second class.

Today was payday, YAY. I worked my ass off for the past 15 days I deserved that nice check. Shame I had to give it ALL to daycare though. But it's OK I got my transit metro card from them so I don't have to buy one, which means the money in my pocket is my own. But they did forget to take it out of me pre taxed money so I'll have to give that back later on. I didn't want to say anything today about it. But I will on Monday. I know bad me but I wasn't in the mood to go into all of that. It's not my fault they forgot to take that out.

Also all that hard work paid off because the co-op board was very happy with my spread sheet. They just wanted to know a small amount of information more that took me less than a few minutes to do. I still have to make some more copies but all and all it's over with for now. I wonder what other work they are going to throw at me. I hope it keeps me busy but not too busy. lol

I so feel like going out on a date with Kevin this weekend, but with no sitter and me not trusting MIL that's just not going to happen. I'll just have to settle for drinking some wine getting tipsy and hopefully getting taken advantage of later. LOL I just want to relax this weekend but that won't happen either. I will however, get my nails done so that is relaxing in it's own way.

Well time to watch All My Children and drink my glass of wine.

Have a Happy Saint Patrick's Day everyone.