I can't do it anymore

I can't pull off my fake face of happiness. I don't know I just feel like crawling in the bed and not coming out ever. I had a horrible thought last night. I feel so damn emotional and distant from the world. It's causing problems at home and in school. I've been so damn down that I didn't even notice something major that I've been pushing my love on. :( I feel like I want to cry and beat someone all at once. Ugh I hate this shit, I'm on fucking meds, I shouldn't be feeling down and what not. I wish I could just explain it all but I can't. I can hardly understand it my damn self. I just fucking it all and hate myself at the moment.

LMFAO!

What Your Love of Peanut Butter Cups Says About You

You are hedonistic... sometimes to the point of being greedy. You love to eat, and there's no chance you're sharing your candy! While you may be greedy, it's with good reason. You have great taste. The things you love are worth loving, and it's no wonder you crave them.

What Does Your Favorite Candy Say About You?

Saw this and had to repost

Free Dunkin Donut Coffee Sample

I hate my sinuses

Yet another sinus infucktion! I just want it to pass already. I hate this shit, it's time to see another doctor who can actually try to do something for me, instead of just telling me politely that I'm fucked. DOH!

It was time for a color change

Before


And after

Too Funny

This is Love

Waiting

That seems to be all that I've been doing. If I'm not waiting on my grades, I'm waiting on test results for T. And if not that then I'm waiting on the dates to get here to take her for further testing. I honestly feel like I'm in a state of nothingness. Everyone is asking me how am I doing and what's going on. I truly don't know how to respond. I'm really not thinking ahead and only taking things one day at a time. I mean damn what else is there to do in a case like this. I already know how I can get, and if I worry or make myself sick because of my anxiety, I will be no good to my daughter who needs a strong Mami right now. People ask if I'm fine. Am I? No! Of course I'm not fine, but jeez what am I supposed to do about it? All I can do is just take it day by day and cross those bridges when I get to them. Truthfully, I'm a wreck inside and scared out of my gourd. Kev even noticed that I've been a bit off with him. I truly don't mean to be, but I can't help it. It is now his turn to do the campus education thing and be busy. I took my 2.5 years, now it's his turn. Maybe a small part of me is upset that I'm pretty much dealing with most of this alone, but it's not his fault. I don't know. All I do know is that I feel worn and tired, but I can't let that over run my life. I know when I get worn out I get short fused. So he is getting some of that. I don't mean to dish it to him, but I can't help it. He's working full time going to school full time and is in a bit of a selfish mode, granted he's been there for a while now, but this time it's understandable. I just wish he would stop for a moment and realize there are other things going on besides his job and school work. Anyways enough ramblings. Whatever comes comes and I'll deal with it as best as I can.

Too cute

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