Waiting

That seems to be all that I've been doing. If I'm not waiting on my grades, I'm waiting on test results for T. And if not that then I'm waiting on the dates to get here to take her for further testing. I honestly feel like I'm in a state of nothingness. Everyone is asking me how am I doing and what's going on. I truly don't know how to respond. I'm really not thinking ahead and only taking things one day at a time. I mean damn what else is there to do in a case like this. I already know how I can get, and if I worry or make myself sick because of my anxiety, I will be no good to my daughter who needs a strong Mami right now. People ask if I'm fine. Am I? No! Of course I'm not fine, but jeez what am I supposed to do about it? All I can do is just take it day by day and cross those bridges when I get to them. Truthfully, I'm a wreck inside and scared out of my gourd. Kev even noticed that I've been a bit off with him. I truly don't mean to be, but I can't help it. It is now his turn to do the campus education thing and be busy. I took my 2.5 years, now it's his turn. Maybe a small part of me is upset that I'm pretty much dealing with most of this alone, but it's not his fault. I don't know. All I do know is that I feel worn and tired, but I can't let that over run my life. I know when I get worn out I get short fused. So he is getting some of that. I don't mean to dish it to him, but I can't help it. He's working full time going to school full time and is in a bit of a selfish mode, granted he's been there for a while now, but this time it's understandable. I just wish he would stop for a moment and realize there are other things going on besides his job and school work. Anyways enough ramblings. Whatever comes comes and I'll deal with it as best as I can.