If People Could only STFU!

I swear people just love to open their fucking mouths all the damn time and not know what the fuck they're talking about.  Fucking A! People learn to speak when spoken to.

Way Too Stressed for Something So FUCKING STUPID!

I fucking can't stand how stressed I get over work and the stupidest shit.  A fucking piece of paper and misalignment becomes a huge frustration.  I just can't fucking deal with stupidness right now.

Where there is a WILL there IS A WAY!

Damn straight I'm gonna figure shit out one way or another.  When I'm determined, I get shit done.  No more whiny, dramatic trolls that ask for advice yet find a way to dismiss it EVERY SINGLE TIME! It's so sad to see how some can ruin it for all.  But asi es la vida, so fuck it! I'm done.

Totally Disgusted Right Now!

I can't believe that my fucking boss wants me to make a damn doctors appointment for him!  I'm not his fucking wife! It's bad enough I have to pick out birthday and mothers day cards for the fucker, but now I'm doing shit that his wife should be doing.  Next thing I know the mother fucker is going to ask me to shake his dick for him after he pees!

I Feel Like a Horrible Friend

I feel like a shitty friend right now.  I unintentionally hurt her feelings.  I knew I might be doing it, but I wanted her to hear my news directly from me instead of some other way, which would have probably hurt her more.  Now I have to figure out how to break my news to another friend and I know she too will be hurt by it.  Life sucks sometimes...le sigh

Bad Mood

Ughh I hate being in bad moods.  It makes it very hard for me to deal with people when I get like this.  It's bad enough I have a boss that can be on the dee dee dee side.  I've been nothing but an uber bitch since last night.  Fucking great just what I need for the weekend. Fucking hormonal outburst cause by a lovely bitch that will be sure to show up on my door any day now.

Tired ALL the Time

I totally forgot how busy my life becomes once school is in session.  Now that I'm up and out the door by 8AM 6 days a week is killer on my body.  I'm running around like a mad woman most of the time that by the end of the week I'm exhausted.  This Saturday I passed out somewhere between 9:30 and 10PM and didn't officially get up till 9:30.  Granted I was up at 6:45am but I went back to sleep for a few more hours.  Thankfully 2 out of 3 professors this semester are cool, the third is well umm an anal asshole.

She's one of those that assumes no one has a life, her class is number one importance and that students even in her evening classes are young kids with no families to take care of.  If I posted my syllabus you too would see how much of an anal asshole she is.  You cannot have anything on your desk or lap that isn't a pen, paper and book currently reading for class.  Book bags must be on the floor, umm fuck you I own expensive shit and putting things on the floor is how they get lost, stolen, or have bugs crawl in them.  You MUST shut off your phone, fuck you I have kids, my shit will go on vibrate and if it's one of them calling I will fucking answer.  You cannot use a laptop.  I can understand that one some what but...some people have issues writing and typing is easier for them.  She only allows 4 absences and a medical one is no excuse.  If you know there will be an emergency call that you "anticipate" receiving, let her know before class.  Yeah cause we can all anticipate an emergency.  Hey fuck head would it be called an emergency if we knew it was coming?  Ummm I think not.  Asshat! 

If you're more than 15 minutes late you are marked absent instead of late.  3 lateness's equals an absence.  Oh and you can't even so much as get up to use the bathroom. She expect all of us to do that shit before her class.  Hey what about us working students, such as myself, that have to leave work early just to TRY to get to class on time.  I might as well get a fucking catheter inserted.  Oh and the best part is that she puts up our assignments really late, sometimes barely giving a student 24 hours to get it done.  Thanks for considering those of us who work for fucking 8 hours before heading your direction.  Fuck nut!

OK I think I'm done ranting, for NOW.

So tired

I hate how tired we get once vacation is over and we all have to jump back into the daily grind.  What makes matters even more tiring is that I no longer can sleep in on Saturdays.  Now I have to get up as if I was going to work.  So that makes 6 days a week where I must wake up by 7AM the latest.  UGHHHHH Remind me why I'm going back to school again?

Let the MADNESS Begin!

It's that time again.  Time for school to start and for me for run around like a mad person burning the candle at both ends while I work, go to school, and take care of the family.  I have to admit, it was very nice having a break from being super mom.  But it's time to dawn my cape again.  It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's just Super Liz!  Ahhhhhhh

Babies and Bellies Everywhere

That's all I've been seeing lately.  Even in my fucking dreams. The past two days alone have been dreams of fairly young babies and what not.  Then when I'm out and about if I'm not seeing a new baby I'm seeing a big ol baby belly.  Maybe the world is trying to tell me something. lol  Who knows but it's darn annoying that's for sure.

Must remember underlined

 I should post this for my boss to read and for myself.  I'm not superhuman and I can break!

 August 19, 2011

Capricorn (12/22-1/19)

When it becomes dramatically clear that you can't do it all today, you'll have to let go of some of your obligations. But this is very good news -- and it will send a message to someone powerful that you are not superhuman. Adjusting expectations is important, and doing so is sometimes necessary if you want to keep harmony in your life. You'd do well to adjust some of your own expectations of someone close to you. The fact that the two of you are not on the same page isn't a problem.

WOW I can walk to this place from my house

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/08/17/sanitation-truck-dangles-from-building-after-smashing-through-depot-wall-in-woodside/

I do enjoy reading these

August 12, 2011

1. Capricorn (12/22-1/19)

   A lovely, quiet morning could evolve into a very active afternoon -- and a very hectic evening. Your chances of a good night's sleep are slim. You probably already know who will be responsible for the increased drama, and you won't mind the inconvenience at all. This person is making some waves and causing some major changes in your life -- but luckily, these changes will be very positive for you and your people! So how do you want to celebrate?
   
   Hmm I wonder who that person can be. I'm hoping it's my husband, I would love for some waves to happen and major changes to take place.
   
   

So annoyed

I've really come to a point where I hate my office and most of the people who work here.  Sad part is that the office is very small and has only about 7 people working here.  Everyone expects me to fucking work miracles all the damn time.  They assume I have ten heads and twenty arms that can just get it all done RIGHT NOW!  I'm sorry but I have tons of other shit to do that takes priority over your petty shit.  Look up your own damn exhibits. If you can't find shit that has been properly filed on the fucking database then the problem is you.  I don't give a fuck if you have a deadline of today by the boss.  I work directly for the boss and he dictates my deadlines.  Not some fucking associate who hasn't even been here for a fucking year.

Set The Bar Too High

It hit me last night that my problem is that I set the bar too high for myself.  I expect way too much out of myself and life at times.  I need to remember when I do things that the way I envision them might not always be the way the turn out.  Life has its own idea of how things are going to work and flow.  I'm just here to follow and hopefully survive it mentally sound.  What I put myself through this past week must not repeat itself.  I need to remember that things will happen in their own time and I cannot rush it along.  All I can do it lay the ground work and let time take over.

Hopefully, I can keep all of this in mind as I travel my journey.  That way when things don't go as I envisioned it won't be so mentally challenging. I just need to keep rolling with the punches and live life one day at a time.

What a Week!

Geesh it's been one hell of a fucking week.  This had to had been one of the most stressful weeks I've experienced in a long ass time.  Tonight calls for a major texas sized drink of something super fucking strong.  I don't know what yet, but I will be drunk by 9pm tonight.  The only reason I expect not to be drunk is because I'll still be watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  So bring on the weekend cause it's been a hell of a fucking week. 

Stressed OUT!

OK normally I can handle stress really well, but this time I'm not handling it well at all.  This time it's more than just stress, it's emotional stress.  And that is one kind of stress I don't do well with.  It fucks with my head and heart.  It makes an angry bitter bitch that ends up being a hot mess who tends to take out my anger on the world.  I don't like myself when I'm that way.  And I know others don't like me when I get that way. Honestly, I don't give a flying fuck what others like or not about me, but I do care how I feel about myself. 

So with that in mind, I will try to relax and just reflect on life and attempt to see where it takes me.  Hopefully it will be a good place.

My heart just broke a little

I went from completely crazed and angry to having a broken heart in .05 seconds flat.  As I sit here at my desk at work, I'm ready to break down in to a fit of tears.  However, that is not my style.  Instead I will curse, be a bitch, and crack jokes wherever I can.  But I swear I feel like the world is against me right now.

Fucking shit!

fuck you fuck off and die go play in traffic or in front of an oncoming train.  Fuck you you fucking fuck!

Nope don't feel better.  Son of a mother fucking bitch!

Hurry Up Time

I really wish I had the ability to mess with time.  Today I would make it go faster.  On the weekends I would make it go slower.  It's just horrible that I really want to find something out but can't just yet.  I have to wait to later this afternoon.  And even then I won't know if I'll have the answer I'm hoping for.  I feel like a mad person and I'm not amused.  I just wish I could seriously know the answer one way or another and get it over with. 

*le sigh*

When will I learn?

Really?! When will I learn to really listen to myself.  I do things that I know I shouldn't be doing cause I know how it will turn out.  But yet I still do it only confirm my initial thought.  Why do I drive myself insane this way?  Why can't I just be the type of person who practices what they preach in this regard?  I can dole out advice with the best of them but yet I can't even begin to follow my own advice.  How stupid is that?  All I need is to trust my instincts better and learn to have some fucking patience for once in my damn life. OK so I do have some patience and can wait for lots of things.  But when it's something I want deep down in my heart, I have no patience.  Instead I get impatient do stupid shit to just let myself down.  I swear I'm a gluten for punishment.  One day I'll learn.  I might be on my death bed when I finally learn it, but I swear I fucking will learn.

Signs signs everywhere

I swear I'm losing it.  I'm seeing signs in EVERYTHING lately.  I really need to cut this crap out.  Everything is not a sign of something.  I know this is just my mind playing tricks on me, and damn it it's doing a damn good job at the moment.  So not fair.  If only my mind could focus on other things, but alas it cannot. 

*Le Sigh*

Trying so hard not to obsess...

But it's freaking hard not to.  I really don't want to go into details over why I'm obsessing right now.  I'll let the cat out of the bag eventually, but I'm not ready to share with the world just yet.  I just can't stand when I get this way.  It freaking consumes my mind all damn day long and I can't afford for that to happen.  I have work and family to think about first.  Thankfully I'm still on summer break from classes.  But I bet if I had classes going on right now it would help me keep my mind busy.  The fact that work is kinda slow doesn't help either.  

Ughhhh I  hate this shit!

Stupid Weather

This stupid heat wave that was unbearable for most of the country totally fucked me up in more ways than one.  Not only did I have to leave work early on Thursday in order to avoid an asthma attack, but we also experienced rolling brown outs and a reduction in power.  No big deal really since we still had enough power for the a/c to work and for me to be able to use my nebulizer machine. 

However, the one thing that didn't survive during all of this was my voice over phone line.  For some reason it stopped working.  And I didn't realize until today when I was getting repeat phone calls from my SIL trying to talk to the kids.  Here I am insisting that my house phone cannot possibly be on call forwarding since I didn't turn it.  Yet it was, so now Liz looked like the asshole.  Just great. 

Another lovely fact was that Doni told Kev last night the phone was messed up but he never bothered to tell me.  Good thing T has her own cell phone and can dial out in case of an emergency.  Ugh so now once I'm home I must try and fix this damn phone on top of cooking dinner so that my monsters don't go hungry.

Home At Last

After three weeks with my Mom, my kids are finally home with me.  I've so enjoyed my time alone but I really did miss my monsters.  Kev with his one liners, and T with her silly teenage antics.  Now my house is full of noise, toys, laughter and love.  What else could a mama want more?

Trying not to lose it today

That will be my goal of the day.  To not flip the fuck out on someone at the office.  I could go on for days with a rant but I will not.  I will just attempt to keep my temper in check and I pity the mother fucker who does truly rub me the wrong way today.

Cautiously Optimistic

That's how I've been feeling the past few days.  It surprises me to know that back in 2009 I never would have imagined I would be feeling the way I do lately.  What surprises me even more is the fact that I got the big guy on the same page with me.  Shocker in this regard.  I just hope that what I'm dreaming about does come to fruition.  I also hope that if it does, things go smoothly and that I can handle whatever is thrown my way.

Burnt Booty

That's what I have.  I nice burnt ass.  Just fucking wonderful.  Of all the things to burn on my body, it has to be my back side.  This damn chronic pain meds the doc put me on is not conducive to my summer time fun.  Granted I'm not a huge fan of the outdoors, but once in a while I do enjoy some fun in the sun, especially with my kids.  There is nothing that screams, literally screams, fun like trying to sit on the toilet while your cheeks are burnt.  Boy I just hope I don't have to suffer long with this one.  As normal, FML folks.

Just relaxing on a Saturday Morning

And it feels damn good.  No husband, no kids, and the cats are sleeping.  Ahhh just perfect.  I'm getting to watch cartoons and catch up on my soaps with no interruptions other than the ones I create for myself.  There is nothing I enjoyed more as a kid growing up than Saturday morning cartoons. I'm so loving that I get to relive that with the Hub channel. HA! Leave it to a TV station to make me happy.  Getting to watch shows like Jem, Batman Beyond, G.I. Joe, and Transformers really brings back the good memories.  

Lets see what the rest of my Saturday is going to bring.  It's a beautiful day out there and I can always clean house tomorrow.  It will give me an excuse not to drive upstate. Tee hee I hate those long drives and my back hates them even more, so I avoid them at all cost.  Geesh I rather clean the house than take a drive.  How sad is that? lol  Oh well at least it gives me a reason to be productive this weekend.

Damn I suck at this

I know I've said a thousand times, but I will say it again. I suck at blogging.  I have so much going on in my head that you figure I would be able to blog easily.  But nope, no such luck.  I guess I'm more of a private person than I thought I was.  Either that or I truly just don't have much to share.  I tend to share when I'm upset or angry, which I haven't been that much of lately.  I guess that's a good thing.  That means that things are going relatively smoothly.  Truth be told, it's not.  I just choose not to bitch about it in public I guess.  Maybe one day I'll get better at this.  But until that day comes, I will suck at blogging and accept it.

New Journey

So it's time to embark on a new journey in life.  Not one that I really want to take, but it looks like I must regardless.  According to my doctor, I'm presenting with fibromyalgia like symptoms.  Lucky me.  This is something that my mother suffers with and it's not pleasant.  The pain I see her in daily is sicking.  And now it looks like this could be the root of all my pain issues as well.  Lucky me, NOT!  Now I get to take daily chronic pain meds that will most likely mess with me in some what shape or form.  I needed this like I needed another hole in my head.