When will I learn?

Really?! When will I learn to really listen to myself.  I do things that I know I shouldn't be doing cause I know how it will turn out.  But yet I still do it only confirm my initial thought.  Why do I drive myself insane this way?  Why can't I just be the type of person who practices what they preach in this regard?  I can dole out advice with the best of them but yet I can't even begin to follow my own advice.  How stupid is that?  All I need is to trust my instincts better and learn to have some fucking patience for once in my damn life. OK so I do have some patience and can wait for lots of things.  But when it's something I want deep down in my heart, I have no patience.  Instead I get impatient do stupid shit to just let myself down.  I swear I'm a gluten for punishment.  One day I'll learn.  I might be on my death bed when I finally learn it, but I swear I fucking will learn.